And in those whole 20 years in my life,I have never been so fond of someone, I have never appreciated someone or respected someone this much. Did you ever go out somewhere and wished you could see someone around the corner by chance? That happened to me.. and I was so glad to see that person (though I turned all red after talking to him), glad enough to smile like a dumb person the whole day. That person to my eyes is just flawless,yes: flawless! All those things you could call ''flaws'' to me make him just perfect. He's warm-hearted, caring, kind, friendly, sincere, gentle, affectionate..
I respect him so much to the point I can't even look at his eyes.. How can I even look in his eyes now? I'm wondering.. I'm so ashamed, but I guess tears won't fix anything. I don't want to disappoint anyone, only God knows.
I guess it's a bad thing indeed to make people your motivation, because people always leave, and that motivation leave with them.. But I decided to just keep quiet, because if I do, I might not lose him.. I wish we could be friends, like, real friends!
But, like N. Qabbani said:
I guess I just ''will keep on watching you from afar, like a poor kid who enjoys watching the candy seller without buying some.'' and I will hold to that tie bar he gave me until I see him with someone whom he deserves, because I want what's best for him, and because he's an incredible person and I wish him all the best.